Monroe County, NY
9:25 AM
When you mention the words County Fair or State Fair, we all have different images pop into our heads. For some of us it is walking around with our family getting as close to farm animals as you’ve ever been. For others it is eating all of the fair food: fried dough, corn dogs, burgers, grilled corn, etc… For others we think about all of the voices beckoning us to “Step right up, win a prize,” and the games that follow. I remember shooting a clowns mouth with water, dropping ping pong balls into fish bowls, throwing a ball to knock down milk jugs, pitching dimes into red dots, getting my age and weight guessed wrong, and dropping quarters down a shoot as mechanical wall slides back and forth, hopeful that it pishes more quarteres down to me. It never happened.
I hadn’t been to a fair in years. My family never really went as I grew up. I remember my friends and I did go to church carnivals and fire man festivals. Maybe in 7th grade we went to one where I actually one some of the games. I didn’t pick out a big stuffed animal or anything like that. I picked out posters of chicks. America’s #1 Sport hung in my room for years. She was a babe.
My first beer and a half was had before one of the church festivals during the summer before my junior year. A buzz off of sharing a six pack with 4 people. My friend puking on the church playground.
I have a lot of memories of fairs and carnivals, but it had been a while. Since I’ve beem home writing I’ve been doing some marketing work for a home imporvoement company. They had a booth at this year’s Monroe County Fair. I ran the program this year. This meant many hours at the fair trying to get people to sign up to enter to win a house full of windows. I wasn’t exactly thrilled at my role.
I pictured the shady sales people, hawking their goods. I pictured kids running around without shoes, being chased by parents missing teeth. I pictured gangs of thugs roaming the Fair, flashing weapons and having turf wars over the ferris wheel. But, I needed the cash, and overtime is always a good thing, so I took the job. As my friends down south would say, I was going to the “Far.”
We set up our booth at the fairgrounds in Henrietta inside the Dome Arena. The first relief of the week was a big one. We were inside, with air conditioning. The forecasts were for 90’s all week. We had a table with a red table cloth and an animal print throw over it. My boss is an animal fiend. We placed a couple of the windows on the table and threw out a ton of pens and entry forms. We had two large display boxes where people could sign up without leaning way over on the table. And we had a ton of candy to give away. This was my department, so I got stuff I liked (not sure if that was good idea): Starburst, Jolly Ranchers, Rolo’s, Peanut Butter cups, and Bazooka Joe gum.
The show started last Wednesday. I hadn’t really done much on the Journal because I’ve been busting butt on this. From Wednesday to Sunday I was there for 45 hours. It’s a long day when you stand up and say (I didn’t yell or harass), “Sign up here to win a houseful of windows…” People would stop and ask questions. Others would ignore you. Some would stare at you, “Windows, we’re giving away windows here,” I’d have to re-explain.
I must say that I my stomach was full for a few days, not because of the candy, but because of the pride I felt like I had to swallow. Not too long ago I was in meetings trying to close deals worth $500,000. Now here I am, at a fair, trying to get people to sign up for windows. It still makes me think, but cash is cash and it makes you do things you normally would not.
I was surprised by what I found at the fair. Our booth was set up in between the Social Security (they were explaining some new prescription benefits to people that would stop) and the Tupperware booth. Next to each of them was the Kleen Vu people. They were great folks from Idaho selling a better version of Windex. They had been on the road for 7 weeks. They are en route to a BMW bike rally in Ohio and then headed back home. The Good Feet people were next to the Tupperware folks. They were selling insoles that gave your foot the perfect form.
In the background was Kotze. She was behind us, but she was with me the entire time I was there for two reasons. Her microphone was on most of the day as she showcased the ability of her cooking pots and pans. She talked about how aluminum is banned in cooking in England and how the FDA does not allow it for dog food. She was good at her job and always smiled. We always ended the night by going to see her to eat what she had cooked that day. I had chicken chili a couple of days and then some whole chicken on others. It felt good to close down with a full belly.
In front of me was my namesake, Andrew, and the Airzooka. What’s an Airzooka you ask? It’s a toy for kids that looks like a futuristic weapon. It is a plastic piece with bungee cords on the end holding in an air flow maker. You pull back on the bungees and let it go for a loud popping sound. Out of the 8 inch diameter zooka comes a storng circle of air. It flies up to 30 feet. You should’ve seen some of the people as they freaked out by getting hit with air from afar. They didn’t know where it was coming from. They’d look around, and up, and finally Andrew would speak into his microphone that it came from the Airzooka. He is a teacher during the year and just started selling the Airzooka’s. He put a smile on a lot of kids faces. Kids have a lot of buying power, dragging their parents over, buy me one, buy me one.
There were a lot of other vendors: Two other window companies, three booths of people giving out books and pamphlets on God, EcoQuest people selling ionization systems for houses, people giving away a $250 gift certificate to Home Depot.
Behind the rows of vendors was a stage. What a time. I got to see the opening ceremonies of the Fair! Sweet. The Pledge of Allegiance was read by Mrs. New York America. Then the National Anthem was sung to a group of about 25 by a young girl. Then the festivities kicked off. A group of we’ll say 40 and 50 year old women did line dancing. What a scene, the ladies dressed in red shirts and black pants, stepping to Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy. Then we had a group of similarly aged belly dancers, moving and gyrating to Mediterranean music.
We had it all at the fair. NASA was there a Mars display. That was pretty cool. It showed how the goal is to get to Mars and build a station on it. The movie type thing was in a big bubble and it played all around you. You stood on the floor and the walls, 360 degrees, filled up with the movie.
The Space Association piggy backed on that and had moon rocks and the history of space flight with model rockets and some Star Wars gear. Some people in Star Wars costume showed up as well. There was Luke, Lea, the Storm Troopers, a Han Solo with a belly, and the best costume by far was Chewbacca. He has truly 7 feet plus. It didn’t look like stilts or lifts either.
There were also a ton of animals. They had goats, horses, bunnies, roosters, and pigeons. But most of all, they had cows. I don’t know if I’d ever been so close before. They layed there chewing their cud, staring at each other. People would walk by gawking at them. I was one of them. They were huge. I don’t know how much they way, but I could picture 800 pounds. Their diameter had to be three feet.
All of this was inside. I haven’t mentioned all of the things we know. The food vendors lining the walkways outside. Corn dogs, pizza, barbecue, clams, Italian sausage, beef on weck, and on and on. Fair food was in full effect. And there the games, the clowns mouth and the quarters and a few others.
I didn’t pay much attention to the games. I was the guy that did not make eye contact and therefore I did not have to speak to them when they told me to step right up. I did throw a few quarters in. Matt, my friend from here who helped me out with working threw a few more down there than I did.
I watched some pig races (they are faster than I thought) and they had the frog jumping championships. I better not leave out the demolition derby. They had a bus race too on the track. I missed the rooster crowing contest.
The people watching was interesting. I did see people without teeth. I did see unruly kids. I did see people buying tons of stuff. I saw Miss Monroe County Fair get crowned. I was going to see the Venus Swimwear contest, but it got rained out. I did see a kid get punched in the face. As he sat with security he was asking why. It seemed he just got smacked out of nowhere, by another kid. I made friends with the security guys that worked the back door I went in and out of.
I saw a lot of stuff. I ate a lot of stuff. But most of all I learned that there are a lot of nice people working and attending fairs. Andrew and I talked a lot. I went back and forth with the Social Security people (they say to leave it alone). Kotse and I enjoyed our talks. All in all, I swallowed my pride for something that turned out to be a good experience. There are people from all walks of life there. You can learn from everybody. Smiles go a long way. I could write a book about all of the people and happenings. Hmmmm.
Now it’s time to get ready for the day and a concert tonight that I’m looking forward to, O.A.R. I hung out on their tour bus a couple of years ago. Nice guys.