Rochester, NY
Today is an Anniversary I don’t wish I had to think about. It’s been 13 years since my first semester of college. It’s been a week and 13 years since the phone rang in my dorm room and I shot up to the corner, staring down at me as my friend told me my right hand man from high school had shot himself. It’s been 13 years to the day that he died.
I grew up in those weeks after coming home for the funeral. We lost some friends growing up, but losing someone so close in that way, it caused me to ask a lot of hard questions about life. I now wonder if that started the groundwork for all of my work and life questions and more so, the need to find the answers. I think back on the parties, the laughter, and memory and wonder what he would’ve been like. What type of life would he be living? There is no telling. I can only say that his life affected mine in a major way. And it may be 13 years, but it still shapes me.
Life may get difficult and there may seem like there is no hope, but I know what it is like to be left behind from a suicide. That is not something you want to pass on to anyone. Keep chipping away. Things will get better. It may be an hour, a day, a month, or ten years, but things will get better.
Live your life to the fullest. Find out what and who makes you happy. Live the life you imagined.
I say hello and rest in peace, my man.